WWSMD?

So...

You're Superman and you happen to be flying past a costume party when your X-Ray vision notices that Robin Hood has accidentally mistaken a real arrow for the cardboard one he was supposed to be using for a party game. He's about to William Tell some kid, so you have to ACT FAST!

ACT FAST!

Do you:

A) Quickly fly in and get between the archer and the kid?
B) Melt the arrow with your heat vision?
C) Use super-breath to do... umm... something?
D) Tunnel underground to get into the party quickly?
E) Let the doofy kid take one. Serves him right for that haircut [Superboy Prime only]?
F) Use any random wacky Silver Age super-solution?

Hint: This is Silver Age Superman.

Remember! You have to ACT FAST! Time's running out! No dilly-dallying, mister! A kid's life is on the line!

You certainly wouldn't have time for... oh... say ... THIS:


Taken from Lois Lane #191. It's been used before, will be used again.
And to think.. the Roller Girl actually asked me why I read things like 50 year old Lois Lane's. All I had to do was to show her that sequence.

"Ah. That's .... um... yeah."

(See? More posts! Hiatus slowly working it's way off...)

Token Agreement

Folded Soup presents ...

Momento
(A morality play in fourteen panels.)

or.. Justice League: Unlimited Affirmation

Thank you!

Please return your unused programs.

Keeps on Giving

Sorry for the lack of postage yesterday. I was in the emergency room for most of the afternoon. Nothing serious - just a long, long day ending with an official, "Huh. Don't know what it is, then..."

Still.. I got some free rubber gloves! And tongue depressors! And Bio-chemical hazardous waste in a handy disposable bag!

Nevermind.

Anyway, here's Lois again:

In spite of Superman's reassurances, there's no such thing as "Kryptonite Herpes."
That may be my favorite sentence of the week. I think I'm going to work it into a conversation later.

Krazy! Kosmic!

So, DC's doing a Holiday / Winter special. Love that. And the cute little hat on the All-Star Superman cover is cute. Simple and cute. Love that, too.

But - you gotta admit (well, if you're .. umm.. ME, anyway), could ol' Supes be sportin' a cooler lid? Hmmm..

And.. of course the lids don't get any cooler than King Kirby's Krazy Kosmic Kool Kaps!







Hat Tip to Bully, who, it turns out, did a little writeup on this very topic that I forgot about and happens to be the number one Google search result for "Jack Kirby Hats." Thanks for the images to mess with, Li'l Bull!

Mercy Rule

No time to blog! ... Gotta catch a baseball game...

Okay.. maybe a quickie:

Close calls at the plate rarely went against the Man of Steel.
Subtle! Yet again!

Cheap Jokes Monday

Feelin' a bit under the weather today, (trust me - you don't want any details. Suffice it to say that my scrubbing bubbles are working overtime...) so in lieu of a real post, here's a ribald quickie and an out of context funny. Because, let's face it, we all love toilet humor and bad comics innuendo. Laugh with me! HAHAHA!

Over the weekend the Roller Girl and I went to our local dollar store looking for cheap household supplies, as is our wont. The cashier had just about finished ringing everything up* when I noticed something on the impulse rack, immediately grabbed it and tossed it into the basket. RG asked me what it was:

Me: One of those magic towels that they compress into the size of a quarter until you soak it in hot water and PRESTO! Instant washcloth! They're kinda fun for a minute or so. These are planet of the solar system themed.
RG: Oh? Which one did you get?
Me: You've been dating me HOW long?!?
RG: ... Y'know, I knew the answer as the question was leaving my lips. *Sigh*

Among the witticisms currently being yelled from my morning showers:

"Sweetie? Where did you put the towel for Uranus?"
"I need your opinion - should I dirty up the guests towels, or Uranus?!?"
"Hey!! I think this towel is dirty. There's a something crusty on Uranus."
"Wow! The warm water really makes Uranus grow!"
"HAHA! You know what sticks to the wall if you soap it up enough?!? ... ??? Sweetie?!? ... Ya wanna know?!? ... Hello...??"

Or variations on that theme. We're all about class here at Casa De Soup!

And speaking of classy, here's the best out-of-context comic balloon you'll read this week**:
Yes, Superman. Be very, very glad.

* By the way... The cash register at the DOLLAR STORE (Y'know where everything has the SAME PRICE) was full-sized with a full-sized keyboard that sported about 50 keys. Between the cashier, RG and myself, I'm the only one that thought this was funny. So much so that I was laughing as I asked what all those other keys were for. Y'know.. in a DOLLAR STORE.

** Unless you read CMNS.

Who Watches?

Sorry about yesterday's *ahem* ribald bit of dildo foolishness¹. Won't happen again for at least a week. Maybe sooner. Oh well.

OK - Back to the Silver Age Wackiness!©

"That's the last time I get Superman to pose as Robin for a bust."

Ummm.. wow. Don't know what I was originally thinking, there. And you really don't want to see the Google search results for "Batman kissing Robin." Seriously.

(Hi, Googlers!)

Happy Weekend!

¹ SexyNerdGirl

Bonus!

Just thought of this one. Thought I'd get it down before anyone else.

It's funny, 'cause it's true!

My Bad

Sorry for the lack of posts recently; it's been a crazy week. Odd obligations, weird late-night incidents, strange work requests and the like. Plus, the Roller Girl has moved in, been hired for a new job and so we're real busy taking care of all the stuff that follows that. Plus, I'm a lazy, lazy guy.

I'm am working on a few new things, though. Things for this blog. Things that'll take some time before I'm happy with them. So, been busy there, too.

For lack of a proper post, please enjoy the glory that is (basically) the final panel from this week's All Star Superman. Thank you, Mr. Morrison and Mr. Quitely.

What a fantastic series.

Sorry, but I'll be back more regular in a bit.

Most Wanted

Pretty good week this time around, but one book easily stood above the others. A few days ago I wrote briefly about how good the current Bizarro run on Action Comics is, and after this one (the conclusion) ladies and gentlemen, we officially have my vote for the best modern Bizarro story ever written! And, to borrow a line from Bully, that also makes this the Most Fun Comic of the Week!

Action Comics #857
Writers: Geoff Johns and Richard Donner
Art: Eric Powell

Ah, but I'm not writing a mini-review for this one. Just trust me, you'll love it.

And here are some Most Wanted Panel moments to prove it to you:










Yes, you want this arc. Badly. Go buy now!

---

Bonus! A special panel just for my favorite Emerald Fanny Fetishist!

Click for biggie, Girl..
I know just by showing her that panel, she's A'giggling.

Lazy Friday!

Once again! Got things to do, roller derby girls to sass wise with, and sexy nerd girls to meet!

But.. I swear to you, both of my readers... I will never get tired of this easy, recurring joke!

Boobies.

Scoobies!

I just made that up! It's a headline combo of "Scabs" and "Boobies." Yep. Let's start with the scabs...

One of my dogs has had a weird skin injury that has been bothering her for a few days. Right on the top of her back, towards the butt end. A big pussy (Hi, Googlers!), scabby round abrasion. Nothing I haven't dealt with before (I thought) So, I've been tending to it, clipping the hair around it, rubbing on the first-aid cream and whatnot and keeping her from licking it as much as I can. In spite of that, it's started to spread, so this morning I did a doggie doctor web search and found an exact match.

My dog has ringworm. Fan-flippin'-tastic.

Ringworm, in case you didn't know, is not a worm, but a fungus that infects skin. Nothing too serious - a decent fungal cream will take care of it in a few MONTHS, but its spores are airborne, and it is communicable. Even to humans.

So, in addition to buying a new air filter and treating the doggie with several new creams, I'm having to wash everything daily to keep it from spreading to the other dog. And to me. And keep in mind that I've rubbed my unprotected fingers over this sucker for a few days now, not knowing what it was. As soon as I found out, I hit the shower scrubbing like a rape victim. *sigh*

The next few months are going to consist of constant housecleaning and daily laundry. Dangit.

Well, enough with the Scabs... bring on the Boobies!

Ahh.... I feel better...

No, I'm not ashamed. I'm giggling, if you must know.

Acquired: DC Comics Presents #81

Price: $3.00
Where: Arch Enemy Comics, Boise, ID

I was recently re-reading my already-owned copy of this particular issue when I noticed a small tear on the back page that made me sad. It meant that I had to get another copy, and so I immediately put it on the list. Normally, I wouldn't bother picking up a spare copy of a practically valueless mid-80s comic that I already own in decent shape aside from a small tear. But with this one, I felt I needed to keep a extra, more flawless copy handy. It's special to me. Two copies would be nice.

Why?

Writer and Artist: Keith Giffin

Because it's the single greatest Ambush Bug story ever told!

And by the end of this, you'll agree!

The hi jinx's start with our intrepid protagonist enjoying a quiet round of golf. Well, considering that it's Ambush Bug we're talking about, "quiet" means plowing through the course and other players like a whirling dervish while making loud "Whoop! Whoop!" noises. After he slices his ball into the drink, he grabs his snorkel, dives in, and finally chips it into the hole!

He pops his way to the jewelery store where he has the "rare glowing gem" set into a necklace as a present for someone he recently had a falling out with.

(Superfriends Narrator Voice)

Meanwhile, at the Fortress of Solitude...

Superman is honing his punching skills with a game of Bombardment Ball. (Hey, it's in bold in the comic!) Being Superman, he can't be expected to do it the easy way though, and is just about to reach a blindfolded new high score when who-know-who pops in:

And that, dear readers, is a set-up and premise that would make me shoot bourbon spiked coffee out of my nose and onto Mr. Giffin were I in the pitch room.

After Superman (Ambush Bug) explains the situation to Ambush Bug (Superman), he (Ambush Bug .. I mean Superman .. I mean.. oh, nevermind!) decides that the world still needs a Superman and blasts off to continue the never-ending quest of defending truth, justice, and cream pies, despite his total ineptitude with the powers and leaving Superman (forget it!) stuck in the Fortress.

(Superfriends Narrator Voice)

Back in Metropolis, forty-four hours later...

...Kobra is after the secret to Ambush Bug's teleportation suit and tracks him to his detective agency:


Koko makes a quick exit leaving AB to wrap up a very lucrative Frank Miller deal. After a bit of thought, he figures out that the mysterious, bald stranger who just beat a hasty retreat had to be none other than Lex Luthor! And the chase is on!

(Superfriends Nar... aww.. you get it already!)

Meanwhile, back at the Fortress of Solitude...


Meanwhile...

Notice, if you will, Kobra's signal device: "Why.. Why.. Why..." That's funny, right there.

Meanwhile...


Ambush Bug eventually smacks into Kobra and proceeds to set fire to the entire waterfront when he figures out how his heat vision works. Kobra is seriously scared after concluding that Superman has gone crazy and breaks for his ark:

Meanwhile... Back at the Fortress of Solitude... Superman, stuck in Ambush Bug's body, tries to learn the secret to the suit's teleportation...


Soon after, the 48 hour Red Kryptonite effect wears off and our players switch bodies back again to the way things were. Superman (the real one now) lets Kobra get away in order to deal with the waterfront fire. Ambush Bug pops back to help just as Supes is creating a tidal wave to deal with the fire.

What follows this panel is probably the best in-joke splash page ever to see print. Not to be spoiled here. Go buy it yourself.

The story ends with a funny little wrap-up that leaves Superman in hysterics and Kobra plotting a course outside of the DC universe. Seriously.

I've read this issue at least 50 times since I bought it way back when it originally came out. Now I have two copies and can read and re-read my original torn one until I finally read it to tatters. I may do that.. it makes me laugh every time. I credit this particular comic with starting my love for wacky silver-age funny book craziness, which to this day still hangs on me like a Red Kryptonite necklace. Recommended.

*Pop!*

Kal Kame Back

If you've never wondered about the sheer torture that Martha Kent went through raising a super-baby, you have no heart.

This one reminded me of one of my favorite childhood songs, "The Cat Came Back."

And heck, here it is! In all it's Canadian animated glory!

More Popsicles now! And, heck... one for the doggies, too! Damn heat.

Vacation Over. Booo!

...and we're back! I hope everyone had as fun of a holiday as I did! Great stinky camping fun with the doggies! And boy! Did we have a good time, despite the 100 degree heat we had to endure. You know it's going to be a hot day when you wake up at 8am soaked with sweat because of the smelting heat! And Wow! Was swimming in that ice-cold mountain stream fun! Genital-shrinking fun, but fun nonetheless!

When I got home, my good good friend TiVo recorded bunches of shows for me to go through, including two episodes from the new season of Doctor Who! Whoo-Hoo! Man, is that show fantastic! I was only a glancing fan of this show from the Tom Baker days, but this modern take has completely converted me. If you're not watching it already, give it a shot. It's infectious fun.

Plus, there was a big ol' pile of comics waiting for me! I stopped off at my LCS directly on my way home from the campsite.. the doggies had to wait in the car while I went inside to sort through them all. And any week that gives me a Runaways, Y: The Last Man, and All-Star Superman makes me glad that I skipped the Most Wanted this week. I couldn't pick a favorite out of that selection. Boy, this was a great week for comics!

And the covers! Between AS Superman and Runaways.. wow! Two of the best covers of the year! But, I gotta say, something struck me after perusing the Superman cover, though. Something seemed not quite right...

Hmmm.. maybe I'm looking into it too much but.. well, after that horrible tentacle bondage cover a few weeks ago.. I can't help but look beyond the surface and notice all of the undertones. Implicit or not. Find all the symbolism. It's what you're supposed to do, apparently!

Actually, it's obvious really. I mean, here's Superman - bound, helpless, strapped to a rocket, which is obviously a giant exploding phallic metaphor. At least every time it's used in comics it is! Everybody knows that!

So we've got the world's most powerful male - helpless, emasculated, tied to a giant misshapen penis and about to "explode." Tell me something's not right with that scenario! I know it makes me uncomfortable!

Well, never being one to point out a problem without offering a solution, I thought I'd take a stab at fixing it:

Ahhhhh.... Much better.

(Tee hee.)

Thought I was serious for a second, didn't you? HAHAHA!

Happy back from vacation to me!

(I kinda like WW's blank stare of horror there. It's fun. Creepy fun, but fun.)