Derby D'oh!

Simpsons Comics came out last week in which Marge tries out for a Roller Derby team and the wacky hi-jinks that naturally ensue. It's pretty good, though they did play a little loose with how the actual game is played - at the end of the bout Marge actually crosses a finish line to win. That's weird. But for the most part, they get the idea and make it fun.

And the comic is pretty funny - which is not at all surprising being a Simpsons comic and all. Honestly, this series has been a consistently funny all-ages read from issue one. It helps that you can read the comic and hear the actual character's voices in your head. At least, that's what I do.

Anywhoo, being a Roller Derby official myself, I thought it might be nice to explain some of the sport's more obscure termanology, as helpfully illustrated by this kiddiebook.

All set?

GO!!!


The Flapjack


The Blumpkin


The KrackWhore Whack


The Pirate's Booty


The Alabama Hot Pocket


The Boobie Buster


The Lesbian Threesome
A personal favorite, but the effectiveness varies drastically depending on who's involved in making the play


The Moleman Toss


The Porn Scene Setup


The Rusty Trombone

Ah, yes. Roller Derby. You can learn quite a few things from derby. For instance:

"With Skate Power, Comes Skate Responsibility."

I can't believe they didn't make that joke in the comic! Bongo guys?!? Call me...