Toast! Glasses Up!

Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'
Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patty's Day, ya toffs!

(Actually.. does "ya toffs" even mean anything? I just made it up. Sounds good, though..)

And - special individual Comics Blogosphere toasts to ....

Adam - May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.

Sally - May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!

Sea - May you always feel the desire to kiss your child goodnight -- even if she's already asleep.

SexyNerdGirl - May the hinges of our love never grow rusty.

Now.. off to deplete the fridge of some Guinness... Slán agat!

Bad Jokes and Dog Puke

Hey! He's back!

Yep - I had great time at the Helmet show (Hiya, sexy nerd girl!), followed by another fantastic mini-vacation camping with some buddies. We all agreed that we stumbled upon the greatest campsite ever and plan to head back there frequently. Wild foxes visited us, we dined like kings, and even got some fishing in. In fact, aside from (merely) one instance of my drunken embarrassing rantings, the only thing that went wrong was when I awoke one morning to my dog puking on me. Right on my head, into my sleeping bag, sleep mat, blanket, et all. Ug. But, everyone else got a laugh out of it.

So... back! Usual posts will continue. Unless I get distracted. In fact, I have a few ideas abou.... Hey! a squirrel!

Let's loosen up a little and take the easy route by once again stealing a panel from Adam over at CMNS. He rightly complained that the original (go click) was not funny. Or, very dated humor. I'll go with not funny. We can repair the funny by using an old bar joke that actually is from the same time period, and one I may remember from a Bazooka Joe wrapper.

('cept, you know.. with soda instead of Bourbon. So sue me. I like Bourbon.)
Cheers!

Happy Friday!

---

No, it makes no sense aside from making me laugh. Enjoy the genius that was my last joke, why don't you! I'm in a very giggly mood because today it's FRIDAY! and I'm off to bring some mandolin goodness to a local band that needs some. So, it's a quickie. I have things to do!

Plus, I will be in no state to post anything coherent later tonight. I could probably muster some late night babbling and drooling, though. And I might just be able to find the bed. Or the toilet. No promises. I've played with these guys before.

Have fun, kiddies!

Most Wanted

Fresh back from vacation and it's another Wednesday! It was pretty slim this week, but that's to be expected with the awesomeness that was last week's haul. So, I reached out and bought something I didn't walk in the store expecting to take home. And ... it worked out well!

Green Arrow: Year One #1
Writer: Andy Diggle
Artist: Jock

I almost didn't pick this one up - it's a limited series that will almost certainly be available in trade format in six months or so - but it was a rather slow week for quality books (nothing could compare with last week), and it is only a 4-issue series, so the money I'd save by waiting really isn't that much. Plus, it's always nice to have a Diggle/Jock compilation (I loved The Losers). And as it turned out, it was (as of reading about half-way through my weekly stack) the best of the bunch.

This one starts with Tony... er, Ollie, the always-searching-for-his-next-thrill multi-jabillionaire playboy jackass, taking risks, gettin' drunk, hittin' on chicks and being all-in-all stupid. Then he builds a robot suit, sees the future that will inevitably come, and as a result uses his government influences to push through a particularly harsh piece of totalitarian legislature for the greater good of mankind. People die, some buildings get wrecked and then we have 6 new Avengers titles.

Oh, wait. I got confused.

Seriously, this is a great book. Not so much a re-telling (and honestly, Green Arrow's origin still works pretty well even after all these years), but more of a tightening of the character details and plot nuances as to how Tony got stranded on that island with only his bow to survive with. And that robot suit.

Diggle's dialog is, as usual, pretty dramatic. To me, it reads a bit heavy, but if you read it as lines delivered in a big action movie (which is not a slight - comics do work well that way), it's great. And it helps that his main character is pretty unreserved and over the top himself. And drunk. A lot. Anyway, Diggle writes very cinematically and needs to have a movie under his belt soon. Losers? Is that one on?

Jock's art is top notch. You gotta love this guy. His panel placement, in particular, is fantastic. This isn't a "dark" book, and I was curious how his heavy-lined scritchy style would play out with locations set in rich charity banquets, bright city mansions and the like. No worries. His jungle scenes are gonna rock. And that cover is amazing.

I've never really been a fan of Green Arrow. I could take him or leave him, really. And I hated the political spin they stuck on him in the 70s, though I understood it. Meh. Gimme more blond floozies and boxing glove arrows.

(And as an aside, I have a feeling - just a feeling, mind you - that Diggle and Jock are going to give us a few of both. It just seems to fit.)

But, I gotta say.. I really liked this first issue. And I will buy the rest. Recommended.

Most Wanted Panel:

Man, that's pretty right there...

Ooooh, my head...

Just a quickie today, as I'm still recovering from my latest weekend debauchery.

You think I'd learn by now. *sigh*

Anyhoo, just to get a post down, here's something that is probably hanging on Bendis' wall somewhere:

"Hey! Remember that time Norman Osborne knocked up Gwen Stacy?"
"Skrulls."

"Iron Man turned into a prick? Captain America just gave up?"
"Skrulls."

"Mary Jane does laundry?"
"Domestic Skrulls."

"Paris Hilton's continuing relevance?"
"..."
"Ya got me."

Seriously. I'm beginning to wonder about that girl I met on Saturday...

Orionic

Yesterday:


Today:



Tomorrow:


Heh. Sloppy. Well I liked it, anyway...

Sorry - still recovering from another "I can't believe it" weekend, and had to do a quickie. Still.. Oh, Lightray! You nut, you!

---

Bonus Quick joke about my weekend: This time around I was hanging out with a girl that - for the life of me - I couldn't remember her name. And she knew it. And I really really should've. So, most of the evening, I faked it, looking for a clue. You know how sneaky guys are. After we eventually headed back to her place, I happened to pass her kitchen counter complete with a pile of unopened bills. Bingo!

So, my drunken ass actually tried this:
(seriously)

Her: Are you looking through my mail?!?
Me: Ummm.. no way! .... So anyway, (quickly glancing at topmost bill) what do you feel like doing tonight, Occupant?

She laughed. See, I'm cute enough to get away with that kind of thing. Sometimes.

Tuesday Already?

Boy, that was a fun vacation! Not that I actually did anything, but I certainly had fun doing nothing! Well, not nothing, per say... but... um let's just say that I probably won't be frequenting a certain bar again anytime in the near future.

(Psst! Wanna know the warning signs that you've probably overdid it a bit? When your "Oh, just for a few hours" bar trip turns into a 2-day incident involving three cops, two bar fights, 4 dogs, a $125 bar tab, 3 strange women doing very strange things, a couple of hours where you forgot where your car is parked - but it's probably for the best that way, telling a perfect stranger that sure, you'll bail him out of jail - and knowing there's no way in hell you're going to do it, repeatedly calling one girl "Squiggy" because you can't remember her real name - and it seemed to suit her somehow, and waking up to learn that you had crazy-glued little plastic dinosaurs on the ceiling above your bed. Oh, and throwing up on the dog. Twice, I think. S'hard to tell, really.)

(FYI: No incident involving police, jail, or bar fights had anything to do with me. But it was fun to watch the drama of them all.)

Anyway, now that vacation's over, what's the first order of business?

Yikes!

umm.. can I take away his credit cards?

Whelp, still recovereing, so we'll make this one a quickie. For now.

(Above panel is from Lois Lane #4 (1959), a comic that I simply must own, and is quite possibly the first time the word "blog" was ever used.)

(And many thoughts, prayers, and good wishes to Adam, who lost a very close friend over the weekend. You did good, man. From the moment you first set eyes on him, you did good.)

Three great tastes

Not much in the way of posting today, so instead let me share with you something that combines my love of Dinosaurs, comics, and drinking all in one handy package:

Click to Biggify

Yep. Broads. I'll drink to that... *slurp*

Celebration starts early on a Friday!

St. Patty's Day! Whoo-Hoo!

Being more than a bit Irish myself, I love this holiday! If I had to distill myself (hic) into a holiday - Patty's Day would be pretty close: parties, drinking, little people, attractive red-heads, bad limericks.. and I hear that you can somehow throw in snakes! Love the snakes! Let it begin! Heck, I'm drinking right now! Whoo! Let's sprinkle in the comics, too!

Everyone with me raise a pint to St. Patrick's Day and to comics and especally to my favorite 1980s blatantly unabashed Irish stereotype super-heroine...

Shamrock!

Ah, Shamrock! How I love thee!

Errr, I mean... "Faith and Begorrah! Mine love for thee hits me skull t'wer a blunt sheleighly to me 'ead!"

Shamrock was one of the many "national" characters created for (possibly) the first EVER comics cross-over slash limited series: Marvel Super Hero Contest of Champions. And brother, this 3-issue series kicked the ass of this particularly young F.Soup back in the day. So much so, that I have kept my original copies. And I even re-read them every once in a while. Why is there not a trade of this? I ask you? Seriously.

The plot is so simple that I won't go into it. Oh, heck.. it's really so simple that it's quicker to just write it out:

The Grandmaster has a bet with some other unknown uber-cosmic being that his "team" of kidnapped heroes can beat the Unknown's "team" at 4 games of "find the glowy thing."

It's like a very early Secret Wars, but without that whole "kill all your opponents" thing. And the heroes get no reward out of it.

Marvel (I'm guessing) thought this would be a good occasion to highlight some fan-favorite heroes and to introduce some new ones. For some reason (and, I suspect this was influenced by the Giant-Size X-Men all-foreign cast re-launch's success) they decided to make all the new ones representative of specific countries. Nothing really wrong there.. but they really went overboard with the ethnic-stereotype-as-it-relates-to-powers thing. Check it out:

Arabian Knight - Flying Carpet, Sabre, Turban. Only missing a lamp.
Blitzkrieg - Lightning! And Fast! Lightning Fast! Only missing the power to annex hopelessly undefended countries very quickly.
Collective Man - Collective strength (and nationality-powers) of all of China! Actually, he was a pretty cool idea for a national-based super hero.
Defensor - Spanish conquistador! They should have made him immortal, if he drinks a certain elixar once a year. And gave him blanket-throwing plague powers.
Peregrine - French asshole!
Sabra - Israeli Spikey bird lady. Hated the Arab guy. Controlled all media. (Hi, Google!)
Talisman - Aborigine (not the Alpha Flight chick) who used the "Dream Time." Does that ever work successfully as a viable comic super power? I mean, if you're not drawn by, say, Steve Ditko?
Vanguard - Russian Thor with magical Sickle and Hammer! I think he lasted for a bit, actually.

(I remember hoping that the Talisman from Contest of Champions was actually the same aborigine that teleported the X-Men to wherever from their Austrailian base during that abysmal period in the 90s. Nuts. Missed an opportunity there, Marvel...)

I think you can count the subsequent appearances of these guys on one hand. Wow. Has one series ever tried so hard to introduce so many failed characters?

But, anyway... back to Shamrock! Me many beer's thus far are derailing me thought train!

Shamrock had the power of luck. Of freckin' course she did, because what other super power would an Irish super-hero have? The power to drink 20 Guinness in under an hour, sing a maudlin dirge for your bonny wee child, then punch out a Catholic? Ah, 80s Marvel.. so deep. So deep.

Shammy was actually the eventual decider of the Contest O' Champions, capturing the final shiny thing. Here's the complete Shamrock-oriented sequence, scanned from me very own issue:










(I thought about commenting about each page there.. but.. you get it. Observant Bonny lasses as y'all are!)

(Except that last page.. man, even as a kid.. that missed coloring job on the yellow backside of me dear, dear Shammy, pissed off the youngin' Soup!)

So, the toast! Dear all: Happy St. Patty's to ye all! Enjoy the brew, may I see you grey while combing your grandfather's hair, may your home be too small to house all your friends, may there be nicer legs besides yours under the table, and most of all: Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!

-FS

EDIT: Shamrock Bonus!!

Previously unpublished Marvel Shamrock and French Asshole script! Good stuff!

Double EDIT:

When I saw the stats for this entry a week after the posting, I had at least 20 unique hits from China never to be seen again. Make of that what you will. (Hi China! China! China!)

(let's see if it happens again...)