On Topic Weekend: Superfriends

I love my TiVo. Mr. TiVo. I love it so much, that being a computer guy and all, I've hacked the crap out of it. It's tied into my home network, I can watch any computer vids through it, burn anything it records to DVD (menus are fun to make!), whatever. You name it, I can do it with Mr. lovely, lovely TiVo. I've also jacked up the hard drives' (and added an extra one) so that I have close to 1 Tb of space.

That's 1000 gig's of TV recording space baby! I had to install an extra fan on the sucker to deal with the heat issues. Geek, me.

So, I can be pretty liberal with what I let Mr. TiVo record. I'll thumbs-up anything that looks remotely interesting and sort it out later. I really don't watch live TV anymore, except for news and a few remarkable shows that I can't wait to watch later - like Heroes, for example. Heroes is Nine Shades of Awesome. And if you don't know that, you're a poopy-head, Mr. Poopy-head.

Anyway, on weekends I traditionally play catch-up and go through all those things Mr. TiVo has recorded. Today during breakfast, I watched a few episodes of Superfriends that it recorded automatically off of Boomerang for me because Mr. TiVo knows my recording habits by now, and it love-es me.

A few points, while I'm watching (real-time post!):

- When the Legion of Doom's opening scene of someone standing up and taking the floor with the latest "I have a cunning plan on how we can finally defeat the Super-Friends!" starts with ... Solomon Grundy .... Yeah, you got problems there, "Super" villains.

- When that same plan Solomon Grundy proposes eventually leads to space travel, time distortions, black holes, and dimensional rifts ... I'm OK with that. Thank you for my surreal breakfast moment!

- Brainiac needs pants.

- Of Hawkman, Black Lightning, and Wonder Woman, guess who's the only one wearing a space helmet. Nope - it's Wonder Woman. What th'?

- There is no "Eye of the Storm" in a black hole. There is however, a rocket in my pocket.

- Toyman is a dick.

- The Riddler is nothing but a useless plot device. Tell me how: "When the earth was young, it was only a trickle /// better solve this fast, or friends won't be worth a nickel!" leads the Batman to the Grand Canyon? Yeah, he's the Goddamn Batman, I get it.

- When you actually lure the Superfriends to the Grand Canyon, thanks to Riddler's brilliant bait-and-switch, and they send Superman, Batman, Robin, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Flash, Samurai, and Apache Chief, don't counter with Captain Cold and Scarecrow. You're not representin', yo! I'm jus' sayin'...

- Aquaman gets them out of the Grand Canyon trap. Aquaman. Seriously.

- Paraphrasing Riddler: "You'd better tighten your belt /// or the heat will make you melt!" Constellation Orion? Yeah, first thing I thought of too.

- Toyman (dick) is hovering above Hawkman, Wonder Woman, and Black Lightning taunting them. If only one or ALL of them could fly and get to him!

- OK, umm... the whole "Citizens of Earth! We have captured the Superfriends! Send all the money in your national banks to the international airport, Care of: THE LEGION OF DOOM!!" thing.. yeah. Good luck with that.

- Green Lantern: "Only the power of Superman and myself can succeed in this mission!" Everybody else: "Dick."

- Legion of Doom defeated, buried under tons of airport rubble. Brainiac: "You forgot about my cloaking device!" They disappear. Umm.. I bet I could still find them. And I don't even have Super-hearing (vision, smell, et all), Super-Speed, a magic lasso, a power ring, or uber-detective skills.

- Batman's exiting taunt to Riddler: "What has 13 heads, belongs in a cage /// won't learn its lessons, and gets worse with age?" Riddler's disembodied voice: "Umm.. I give up!"

What!?! ... What!?!

Riddler: Dumbass

Edit: Riddler verse slashies look too much like italic I's. Fixed.


SallyP said...

This sounds hilarious. And Hal always has an inflated opinion of himself. I'm just surprised that he actually included Superman!

Adam Barnett said...

I just could not watch Superfriends in any incarnation. The "no one can get hit or blasted" rule removed any suspense for me.

I have the same complaint about the A-Team.