Acquired: Hitman #18

Price: $3.50
Where: The Paperback Place, Boise, ID

This one was on the list just in case I hapen to find it in a cheap bin somewhere, and it's been on the list for a long time. I eventually decided that I'd searched the cheapies long enough and that I should just buy it already. $3.50's not too bad...

Writer: Garth Ennis
Artist: John McCrea

To say this was a serious issue of Hitman would be stretching the truth. To say the least. To also say that this is Ennis at his absurd best would also not quite ring true. Even taking into account that this is issue 4 of a 6-part arc, the plot's all over the place. It jumps from The Demon rising from Hell, to the Hitman having one of those John Constantine stand-offs with his mates, to a bunch of D-listers getting the old team back together, to some spider-demon thingy rampaging the streets of Idaho, to a last page reveal that really isn't anything even halfway surprising. The art's a bit too cartoony for my liking - especally when it has to jump from comedy to suspense to spooky and back again. In another book, I'd probably dig this style, but when you have to deal with Hitman, The Demon, Jason Blood, Hell and all that... it's a bit too goofy to take the parts that are meant to be serious, well, seriously. Quite honestly, this issue only has one thing going for it.

But that one thing ... Holy Screaming Cats, Batman!!:


The Dogwelder. The Freckin' Dogwelder. The Sam-Scratch, Mother-Farkin', Freak Your Ass Out NOW Dogwelder. AAAAGGHH!

The Dogwelder is nine shades of Awesome. There's no way around that... Awwwwsome! I mean, the dude welds dogs to people's faces! Holy Shipdip, Groo! That's fantastic! Brutalizing a woman? Dog to the face! Bank robbery? Dog to the face! Caught littering? Dog to the face! Wrong street at the wrong time? Dog to the Face, baby!

The Dogwelder is easily the best character ever created as the result of a drunken bet between crazy Irish comic guys. As the story goes, The Dogwelder was created from a series of one-upsmanships between Steve Dillon and Garth Ennis building from who could create a dumber sounding super-hero name than "Green Lantern" (sorry, Sally). I believe Dillon came up with "dogwelder," which might have come from drunken association with "spotwelder," (ha! get it?!?) after which Ennis must have conceded. I know I would've.

Unfortunately, this is only The Dogwelder's first appearace, and he just appears long enough to get recruited back into his old team. This, of course, means that I'll be picking up Hitman #19 and #20. I must see some dogwelding in action!

Until then:


Comics are awesome sometimes.