Out of Order

Well, the time has come for me to completely break down my computer and re-install everything. It's really long overdue - the background detritus is getting out of control, viruses are running amok, my C: drive is capped out on space, and it really is just generally time for a complete purge / re-do.

This might take a while.

I would've had a funny photoshop notice for this, but me being me and not thinking beforehand, I've already uninstalled photoshop. Oh well.

I'll be back to regular posts (hopefully) on Monday. In the meantime, I'll be pulling what's left of my hair out starting everything from scratch.

Oh, and drinking. A lot.

Raise a weekend beer and toast for me in the hopes I don't forget anything too important....

Laters!

(Hopefully...)

Rollin' Around

Well, it's been quite the busy day! I'm still going through all the new comics I picked up! A nice new selection including Ultimate Spider-Man, Casanova, Daredevil, Morrison's Batman ... I'll need a few drinks before I actually get around to reading Frank Miller's Goddamn Joker though, let me tell you!

Frank always reads better with a buzz on. Particularly whiskey. Neat. Ice is for sissies. Goddamn sissies.

Plus, The Roller Girl and I spent some time at the tattoo artists' place checking out what will eventually be her latest. And brother? It's a doozy, even going from the early sketches. She's pretty giddy about it, actually.

So, because of that, and because it's kinda late for me to make up a completely new Flash Bashing crappy photoshop joke, I instead present another quickie. Only modestly changed for that personal touch.

But still, it is a pretty spiffy Flash cover...


Never piss off a Roller Girl. Trust me.

After Gobble Party

Well, that was a fun Thanksgiving! Still munching on leftovers, even!

Now that I'm back, I took some time to catch up on the usual blogs I read to see what everyone's been up to. It seems like everyone likewise had a great holiday - glad to hear it!

Over at the Hoosier Journal of Inanity, Sea_of_Green took a break from her usual Green Lantern head-bashing to poke fun at The Flash this week. It didn't take long for Sally to follow suit.

(That makes me think: Anyone ever seen these two ladies together at the same time? Jus' sayin...)

And so - because I want to hang out with the cool crowd...


Ah! It's good to be back!

Papa Don't Preach

Adam asked, so I'm answering!



10 Minutes Earlier...


Made myself giggle again. Good sign.

Thanks, Adam! (and congrats on the year!)

How World War Hulk *Should Have* Ended: Finale!

It's a shame, but it's over. Oh, well.. I'm sure I can find a way to work those delicious Hostess Fruit Pies into future crappy photoshops...

Previously:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
How I thought it would end

As usual, click for Hulk Size














Kinda deep, huh? Y'see, Bruce's climactic immersion into the delicious fruit filling is actually a metaphor for the human condition, and when the dual flavor choices of Apple and Cherry is juxtaposed with the internal good vs. evil struggle that is the Hulk's epitome (green vs. red), the crux of this little morality play thus becomes unto like a...

Oh, I give up! I haven't been able to bullshit a thesis since I left college English classes.

No Post Thursday! Whoo-Hoo!

Sorry 'bout this, but I'm S'posed to cook for tomorrow's cooperate Thanksgiving lunch. And I mean cook - 50+ people!

(And yes, ladies.. I can cook. Like you wouldn't believe. Rowr, Rowr!)

So, instead of the usual photoshop mock-up, here's an actual panel that I've been saving for a while but haven't found a decent use for as of yet:


Ah, pre-feminism Wonder Woman.. where are you now?

Suggestions are welcome.. that one's too good to go to waste!

Kicking a Dead Horse

Eh, one more time...

(I really hope this isn't becoming a reoccurring theme!)
(Well, kinda...)



Too easy!

Now.. where'd I put that All Star Superman? *drool....*

I Have a Cunning Plan...

Well, Batman does anyway:


And with that one, I'm off to see me some Original Star Trek on the big screen. I'm pretty sure someone's jealous. Countdown until he points out that the original rejected pilot was "The Cage" in 1....7.....0...1...

(Just kidding!)


(Man, this one's particularly crappy.. I could've spent another day cleaning up that done-too-many-times joke...)
(For instance, I should've used Carmine Infantino pointing hands instead of the arrows...)
(...and made it look more blue-printy...)

(Yes, I'm a big ol' geek.)

Diversión con el Ayudante Personal y un Aviso Especial de la Lista del Deseo

Primeras cosas primero...

Aquí en la lista del deseo, sentimos arrepentido la necesidad de informarle que eso debido a la huelga del escritor reciente, no podemos proveer de usted, el lector querido, cualquier nuevo saqueo en activamente de imitación divertido (y, de una manera, homaging!) material previamente original. Franco, todos nuestros satirists han rechazado producir incluso un solo panel del humor juvenil del patio si fueron basadas alrededor cualquier cosa ese remotamente los tortazos uniformes del contenido original. Tan hoy, no habrá un panel cómico levantado cariñosamente del contenido original de la gente, tastelessly (y desvergonzadamente!) modificado para conseguir a una risa barata todo el rato que da crédito completo y completo a la fuente original.

Con esa comprensión, tomemos una diversa trayectoria y en lugar de otro creemos una mirada totalmente original de la pa'gina-por-pa'gina en el nuevo ayudante personal y la colección de los forasteros:

Ayudante Personal y los Forasteros # 3: Páginas 20-21

Detrás en la arboleda anaranjada...

¿Quién desabrochó sus pantalones?

Conseguí la energía TAN TAN-TAN-TAN TAN TAN-TAN-TAN... Caja negra del Oh, usted no es justo para los clubs gays más.

Visión desde la boina-leva.

Pares de los golpes del taser y de los dobleces anaranjados de la escuadrilla. Bien, eso es qué sucede cuando usted hace compras en el almacén del goon del descuento. Y marcaré para arriba el sintaxis con tiza borroso a manejar mal de Katana de su segunda lengua.

¿Qué si le caí? ¿Usted sería listo para ÉSE?

Y sobre la ciudad, el ayudante personal prueba que él es más que apenas un valise gris grande que se arrastrará alrededor señalando algo que sucede debajo del helicóptero mientras que él está sobre él. Soy seguro que la línea de la vista no se aplica al ayudante personal HeroClix tampoco.

Ahora con un receptáculo útil de la explosión.

No sé qué insinuacíon para reírse de primero, así que yo le dejaré proveer su propia broma.

Cuando solamente el jugo anaranjado apagará su sed.

Mientras que el otros van después de la bomba del gas (a pesar de ser no listo), el ayudante personal se arrastra hacia gracias de las láminas del propulsor que hacen girar a las tomas prácticas en el Orangecopter detrás (porque claramente, él es listo para cualquier cosa).

Directamente a Bowser.

¿Está emitiendo una señal sonora ruidosa que no estoy oyendo o es Metamorpho tan prescient como ayudante personal?

Geo-Fuerza: El individuo que usted desea en una cabina en las maderas.

Conjeturo que él es. Usted conoce, sin el colorante, Rex puede ser que también sea un hombre del metal.

Las muchas caras de Rex.

Amenaza triple: Prescient, metal Manish Y absolutamente bueno en guardar su gas contuvo. Él es señoras disponibles. Tengo no ver el zafiro en esta serie todavía.

La lista del deseo espera que nuestro viaje virginal en contenido totalmente original no haya confundido cualesquiera de nuestros lectores queridos, y las razones de este cambio drástico son fácilmente comprensibles. Esperanzadamente esta huelga horrible terminará rápidamente y podremos continuamos como antes con más de nuestras parodiar, relatos, spoofs, y vignettes generalmente en vez de tener que recurrir a tentativas más infantiles en el material totalmente original. ¡Mantengamos nuestros dedos cruzados, cada uno!

Sometimes, They're Handed to You

Man - just when I have an idea in my head ready to go, Adam goes and posts something that just begs to be made fun of and completely changes the schedule. Oh well, I can save the old one for later. S'not like any of my writers are here these days, anyway.

(Splitters!)

Anyway:



Later...


Well, it made me giggle anyways...

Actually, this is really just an excuse for me to use the ol' slang "Scratch" in modern day common parlance.

Hallow-Back!

Whelp, that was one Spook-tacularly fun Halloween! But, I'm back and so let's wade back into the basics...

Crappy Juvenile Photoshop Jokes!


(I'm actually kinda happy with this one)

(Yeah, it's an easy mark, but whattayagonnado??)

Oh, and please go see Spamalot, if you get the chance. It's surprisingly fantastic! You will have a good time, believe you me!

(And, who knew there were so many lyrical rhymes for 'Jew?')

Happy Halloween!

There's a Spider on Your Back!!! Boo!!

Enjoy yourselves, kiddies!


Me? I'm off to see Spamalot! with the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!! strapped to my neck and the lovely and aptly named sexynerdgirl on my arm.

Should be fun!

Oh, and only sporadic posts until Monday. I take my Halloween celebration seriously, you know...

Yeah, Baby.. Yeah!

Halloween... much to do.. Quickie.. Deal...


Plus, any occasion to bring up Mr. E.M.B.W.B.A.M. is alright by me!

Tomorrow! Halloween pictures!

(Well, one really. Kinda...)

Monday! Time for a Clap Joke!

Not that kind of Clap, you perverts...

Or as I like to call you guys: Regulars!

It's Halloween week! My funnest, favorite, frolicking holiday! Faboo! I'm finally feeling the freaky fun! So for now, let's furrow far into The Funny forthwith to find some fine and flavorful Fruit Pie flaky farce!


Fire up Function for Full Frame Force!

*Phew!*

(That one counts!)

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That...

So apparently Harry Potter's headmaster, Dumbledore has been outed by his author.

Just think of the fan fiction to shortly grace our presence. I could go for an easy Google search reference joke here, but I really don't want to know if it would work. You're welcome.

Now, I'm not a huge Potter fan - it's a pleasant enough diversion and I'm hardly the target audience but, (and here's the kicker) I KNOW THAT. So, it's not a passion of mine by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy it as a kinda guilty pleasure. Much in the same way I enjoy that Avatar cartoon whenever I come across it.

(And by the way.. if you are a fan, and haven't listened to the Books-on-Tape version read by the ASTONISHING voice talent of Mr. Jim Dale, you're missing out. Seriously. That guy is the best story teller, ever. I wonder if you can somehow pay him to tuck you in at night...?)

(ummm.. you should probably forget that particular mental picture...)

Anywhoo? ... Oh yeah! Dumbledore! Don't care, not one jot. Not one tittle. But, it does make for some funny photoshops...


(This one goes out to a certain someone who, it must be said, was overheard screeching with either shock or excitement (jury's still out...) from across the house when she first read the news.)

(tee hee...)

Most Wanted

Pretty good week this time around, but one book easily stood above the others. A few days ago I wrote briefly about how good the current Bizarro run on Action Comics is, and after this one (the conclusion) ladies and gentlemen, we officially have my vote for the best modern Bizarro story ever written! And, to borrow a line from Bully, that also makes this the Most Fun Comic of the Week!


Action Comics #857
Writers: Geoff Johns and Richard Donner
Art: Eric Powell

Ah, but I'm not writing a mini-review for this one. Just trust me, you'll love it.

And here are some Most Wanted Panel moments to prove it to you:










Yes, you want this arc. Badly. Go buy now!



Bonus! A special panel just for my favorite Emerald Fanny Fetishist!

Click for biggie, Girl..

I know just by showing her that panel, she's A'giggling.

It's an Honor Just to be Nominated

It's only Tuesday, but it's already been quite the fun week. So, I feel the mood to raise that Limbo Bar and ratchet up The Funny by way of everyone's favorite guilty pastime...

Porno Award Ceremonies!

(Hi, Googlers!)

Adam once again provides the comedic fodder with this fantastic combination of juvenile school-boy double-entendre humor coupled (you see what I did there?) with good ol' fashioned out-of-context radness:

I made a funny in his comments and decided to follow it up here. Twist my arm, why doncha.. it's porn!



(...Later - at the Awards After Photo Shoot...)


Ahhh... that's better ... I'm spent.

(I'm so, so sorry...)
(kinda.)

Monday, Monday...

I can only hope all of your weekends were as good as mine was. Sadly though, it's back to the grind - such as it is.

A few things I thought I should mention since I've finally been going through some of my long overdue read pile:

The recent arc on Action Comics ("Escape from Bizarro World"), the one starting with #855 and the perfect-for-the-subject artwork by Eric Powell, is absolutely fantastic and one of the best modern Bizarro stories I've ever read. And this last issue - #856 - is almost perfect all by itself. I mean, Bizarro Mxyzptlyk ?!?! And that's not even close to the best idea Johns and Donner throw at you. Seriously - get this arc. I scared the dogs with my vocal outbursts while reading this.

Similarly, Joss Whedon is officially knocking his Runaways run out of the Fenway with this last issue. He gets these characters that have been so close to my heart since I first came across them oh, so many years ago. And speaking of vocal outbursts, I dare you not to laugh at a few of the character moments delivered with that certain Whedon dialog touch.

I've always wondered why more Kingpin level "Maggia-ish" Marvel villains didn't bother with *exactly* what The Hood is trying in New Avengers #35. It's a talking heads comic - but it has a lot of tension driving it. And it's downright evil. Super-villain evil. As it should be. Bendis is really making me think The Hood is a viable threat. And that's saying something for a Bendis character that really seemed forced on the reader from the get-go (I'm looking at you, Ronin! And not so there fast, Sentry!)and I dismissed ever since he was in Secret Wars XVII (part III), though I loved that series. It's a worthwhile comic, if you're into the current Marvel take on the two Avengers titles, and certain complaints aside (which I share, in part), a really good piece to the big picture.

Goddamn, is Booster Gold a good comic. And by good, I mean "Freckin' FUN!" I wish there was more Jonah Hex, though...

Whelp, I still have more to go through - so here some crappy photoshop 'till tomorrow:


Hee hee. Giggle worthy, that one is.

N.E.X.T.W.A.V.E: Agents of H.O.S.T.E.S.S.

Because Anonymous demanded it!

(It would link him, but ... well, he's incognito...)






Clicky for Biggies.

This whole pie thing? Getting to be a theme.

Me likey.

Goin' Off the Rails...

A bit of a quickie today - believe it or not, I'm off to a Roller Derby bout. With costumes. And fire eaters. And monkeys. Hopefully fire-eating monkeys in costume. On roller skates. Keep your fingers crossed.

Ah, surreality... the Devil's Tether Ball!

Anywhoo, here's some wacky fun with everyone's favorite crazy ex-wife...




Whew! Creepy! I think I've dated that girl once...

Tomorrow! - N.E.X.T.W.A.V.E.: Agents of Hostess!

(Or, if I don't get it done by then.. something different. Probably something crappy. Certainly not N.E.X.T.W.A.V.E. worthy...)