I know it's just me...

...but I'm really loving All-Star Batman. Goddamn!

Click for Biggie Goddamn Size
Bless you, Frank Miller!

It's a curse, I tells ya!

No Most Wanted this week because frankly, there are so many good ones to pick from that I can't choose one. So let's move the funny into familiar ground:

Badly Photoshopped Toilet humor!

My mind, it scares me sometimes.

How World War Hulk *Should* End: Part IV!

Because No-One Demanded It!!

I'm gonna be sad when this all wraps up, lemme tell you...

Previously:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
How WWH will most likely end

(Clicky Most for Hulk-Sized)

Pie for Everyone!

Bad Jokes and Dog Puke

Hey! He's back!

Yep - I had great time at the Helmet show (Hiya, sexy nerd girl!), followed by another fantastic mini-vacation camping with some buddies. We all agreed that we stumbled upon the greatest campsite ever and plan to head back there frequently. Wild foxes visited us, we dined like kings, and even got some fishing in. In fact, aside from (merely) one instance of my drunken embarrassing rantings, the only thing that went wrong was when I awoke one morning to my dog puking on me. Right on my head, into my sleeping bag, sleep mat, blanket, et all. Ug. But, everyone else got a laugh out of it.

So... back! Usual posts will continue. Unless I get distracted. In fact, I have a few ideas abou.... Hey! a squirrel!

Let's loosen up a little and take the easy route by once again stealing a panel from Adam over at CMNS. He rightly complained that the original (go click) was not funny. Or, very dated humor. I'll go with not funny. We can repair the funny by using an old bar joke that actually is from the same time period, and one I may remember from a Bazooka Joe wrapper.

('cept, you know.. with soda instead of Bourbon. So sue me. I like Bourbon.)
Cheers!

Quickie

Sorry - Off to see a show, then I have to pack for yet another camping trip. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to post tomorrow before I go, but don't count on it...

In the meantime, here's some Cowboy Henk. King of Dental Floss!

Laters!

Yar! Yar, Yar! Yar? YAR!

Ahoy! Today of course be "Talk like a Pirate Day!" Arrr!

So, here's me favorite Pirate joke as illustrated by some landlubber who ye may know...

Yar!

Yay! Strippers!

As much as I kinda dug the new JLA, it really should've had a scene like this...

Yes, I was that guy. Let my bad judgment be a lesson for us all.

Hee hee. Messing with classic covers feels kinda naughty. Not quite stripper naughty, but still...

(And, I actually went to the trouble to splice in a little Red Tornado with the actual stripper on the cell phone. That's a joke waiting to happen there, if you think about it...)

hmmm....

Gah! Pass the bleach!

I've actually had this conversation. Well, close to it anyway.

Later That Day...


This isn't my original joke - it has roots solidly in one of the funniest threads ever hosted at Fark.com. I remember howling with laughter for several hours at the time as the posts unfolded and more and more jokes tried to outdo everyone else's. Sadly, that thread was a long time ago (in internet terms) so most of the hilarious photoshops have since exceeded their image hosting time/space limits.

I immediately thought of this when cruising for strange images to muck with - and I'm not certain, but I think I lifted this one from Sleestak somewhere in his archives. Just to give credit in case it's due. Plus, given his well-documented cat-love, I figured he'd appreciate another reason to question the toleration of their existence.

I like cats, really.

But Cats + lipstick = Good Comedy.

Weekend Update!

I just got my hands on a cheap copy of Amazing Spider-Man #139, which is mostly an unremarkable Gerry Conway wacky new super-villain attacks Spidey amidst his ever present personal problems story...

But, it does have this:

Who says the Daily Planet is the most hazardous newspaper in comics?

Man, that's funny...

Thrills! Chills! Spills! Flag Corps Drills!

Ok, no Flag Corps. Sorry. Don't know why I thought of that.

Anyway, I'm off to a Roller Derby Bout.... Seriously. So, have to rush - but here's what I did with a quick Google search for "Golden Age Comics:"

Sorry for the quickie.. but I'm working on a great one for Monday, based on my candidate for the best running web forum joke ever. I'm chuckling a little inside just thinking about it right now.

Hint: Cats + Lipstick.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Deadbeat!

I'm back, problem fixed. Sorry.

Took me a while, but I finally figured out why my internet was down yesterday (and today - up until 5 minutes ago) - turns out I forgot to pay my bill. Funny, that.

Mind you, they didn't turn off the cable TV (same bill) ... just the internet. Huh. That's odd. And it would've saved me a couple of hours trying to figure out why my computer and TiVo can't see the internet, but the cable TV still works fine. Weird policy.

And I still don't know what the heck happened to the bill. It's not on my "Pay soon" stack, not in Quicken, not in the checkbook.. it's gone. I'm going to say it was never sent to me. Yep, passing the buck! That's the American way!

Well, anyway ... I'm back now and things seem normal again, so let's continue the funny with a crappy photoshop starring a young lady who may have been my first TV crush ever.

And by "Crush," I mean "Turned me into a man."

Well, kind of. In a way. Nevermind. Anyways...

Ah... back to normal...

(I'm actually kinda proud of that one. Lots of subtleties are there, and I learned a few new things that came out right the first time.)

Yvonne, baby? Call me...

Gallows Humor

9/11 Still gets to me, and I thought of posting something appropriate to the attack six years ago. But after reading through a few tribute comics and artist anecdotes, I started to tear up a little and decided that I didn't want to push anything too heavy and taint my reputation for making juvenile boobie jokes. (heh. "Taint." "Boobies." Hi, Googlers!) I'm trying to maintain a fun zone here, for cryin' out loud! And I hate being depressed.

So let's cheer up with a little ribald humor double entendre...

Meh. Too easy. Need something sillier.

Oh! Random Silver Age Aquaman panel! Always good for a chuckle!

Hee hee! Shark-ball! Makos ahead of White Tips 13-5!

Guess what? That's not an actual panel from a real Aquaman comic. But, gosh darnit, it could be!

Actually, it's another panel unscrupulously stolen from Adam over at CMNS. The original is itself inherently great Silver Age wacky fun (go click) and has another unintentional out-of-context double entendre. Hmm.. should've made it a theme post!

Photoshop is a fun distraction. I feel better now. God bless my country.

Hee hee.. shark-ball...

No Sprinkles!

This one's pretty self-explanatory.

And I'm still kinda concerned as to how my mind comes up with these things while reading what was an otherwise fantastic issue of a seriously great comic series.

Click any for Biggies

Do not deny Jonah Hex his morning coffee. He gets cranky.

(Sloppy? Yeah, I know. Meh. It's Monday. Now I'm off to put some cream on my dog's fungus.)

Ug.. Brain Hurts!

Ok, I think I need help. I admit it.

I mean a few days ago, I'm searching The Google for funny comics (as is my wont!) and come across a single, out-of context panel that is so funny on the outset that I just saved it reflexively. I mean, if you stumbled across a Silver (Golden?) Age panel of a gorilla with a gun terrorizing a library demanding certain books to further his plot for world conquest.. well, you'd save it too! Trust me. You know you would.

But - and here's where I think I may have "teh brain troublies" - when I came across it again tonight, I thought I could make it funnier. Like that was even possible. I should have realized that right then and there.

But, NO! I furthered on with my first thought and came up photoshopping something that really suggests I need some kind of professional help.

Seriously ... who thinks up this shit?!?

*sigh*

(Oh! That reminds me! I need to free up some of my hard drive space and organize some "special folders!")

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Bonus!

Ok, Ok ... that last one was pretty brief. I'll make more with the funny...

(Panels lifted from some recent posts over at Comics Make No Sense, who brings even more of the funny. I get some great 'shop ideas from that guy!)

Most Wanted

Writer: Brian k. Vaughan
Pencils: Pia Guerra
Inks: Jose Marzan, Jr.

(Because this series is quickly wrapping up all its plot threads - only two more issues! - this issue contained a major spoiler on nearly every page. So not to give anything away, instead of my normal mini write-up, here's a very special three word edition of Most Wanted.)

Dear Mr. Vaughan:

You. Heartless. Bastard.

Scoobies!

I just made that up! It's a headline combo of "Scabs" and "Boobies." Yep. Let's start with the scabs...

One of my dogs has had a weird skin injury that has been bothering her for a few days. Right on the top of her back, towards the butt end. A big pussy (Hi, Googlers!), scabby round abrasion. Nothing I haven't dealt with before (I thought) So, I've been tending to it, clipping the hair around it, rubbing on the first-aid cream and whatnot and keeping her from licking it as much as I can. In spite of that, it's started to spread, so this morning I did a doggie doctor web search and found an exact match.

My dog has ringworm. Fan-flippin'-tastic.

Ringworm, in case you didn't know, is not a worm, but a fungus that infects skin. Nothing too serious - a decent fungal cream will take care of it in a few MONTHS, but its spores are airborne, and it is communicable. Even to humans.

So, in addition to buying a new air filter and treating the doggie with several new creams, I'm having to wash everything daily to keep it from spreading to the other dog. And to me. And keep in mind that I've rubbed my unprotected fingers over this sucker for a few days now, not knowing what it was. As soon as I found out, I hit the shower scrubbing like a rape victim. *sigh*

The next few months are going to consist of constant housecleaning and daily laundry. Dangit.

Well, enough with the Scabs... bring on the Boobies!

Ahh.... I feel better...

No, I'm not ashamed. I'm giggling, if you must know.

Bonus! Comic Ads Make No Sense

Because Adam demanded it!

(Well, asked rhetorically, but whatever...)

Think I'll call it "The Sermon on the Giant Rubber Ball."

That or "The Latex Commandments."

"Balls x 10?"

(Dear Estate of Charles Atlas,

Please don't sue.

kthx.)

Labor Day Over - Get Back to Work!

Hope everyone had a spiffy Labor Day holiday! Me? I did absolutely nothing. And that's exactly what I wanted to do. No road trip, no picnic, no housework, nothing. Just lots of watching sports and goofing off. Oh, and I made jerkey. Seriously. My place now smells of meat! The dogs are confused...

I did end up going through some old photos to see if anything was worth displaying and got a bit nostalgic. Ah, memories! Misty-watered colored memories!

Love those kiddie tight-pants!

(Hi, Googlers!)

(The hooka was actually lifted from the cover of an old Popeye, of all things. I may use it for a Jeanie joke somewhere down the road...)